At the outset I'd like to say that my review of The Secret of the Shadow is a tricky one for me. On the one hand, I found myself enjoying the captivating world created by Allan & Christopher Miller. The characters were interesting, the land of Solandria engaging, and the story kept driving forward, until the big secret about Hunter Brown is revealed at the end. On the other hand, I must point out several problems in the book that kept pulling me out of the story that should be addressed by the Miller Brothers before they begin to work on the sequels that will no doubt follow.Before I get into the problems, it is always best to start with the good stuff, e.g., what The Secret of the Shadow is about. In a nutshell, Hunter Brown is a boy of around twelve who often gets into trouble. On one occasion in particular, he and his friends, Stubbs and Stretch, get stuck in a dumpster after a prank goes terribly wrong. They finally get rescued by a mysterious janitor who asks them to pick up a special book at a bookstore neither of them knew previoulsy existed. Little did Hunter and Stretch realize that this book held the keys to their destinies. As they probe the mysteries of this book, both of them are transported to the mysterious world of Solandria, a parallel universe that is engaged in a civil war of sorts. Hunter joins forces with the Codebearers, a band of highly trained warriors who form the Resistance to the Shadow led by Venator, a skull-masked enemy who haunts Hunter's dreams. Before Hunter can complete his training, he is sent on a mission more dangerous than he ever imagined. With his life in peril, and the future of Solandria at stake, Hunter is headed for a showdown with Venator, complete with a surprising revelation that may enslave his soul for all eternity.
The Miller Brothers do a masterful job of creating a world, both here and Solandria, that possess an air of realism about them. On the side of righteousness, characters such as Ephriam, Evan, Faldyn, Hope, and Aviad are depicted as honorable people who are committed to the fight, but with personal flaws that sometimes divert them from the right path. We are also intoduced to Saris, Zeeb & Venator, whose loyalties lie with the Shadow. In the latter group, it would have been an easy thing for the Miller Brothers to paint them in a traditional villain role, specifically as one-dimensional characters. Like people who live in the real world, they are smart, seductive, and make compelling arguments why siding with evil is actually a good thing. In some ways, I found those characters more interesting than those that were portrayed as the protagonists.
I believe this story will be an enjoyable read for whom this book is intended, primarily the youth market. There are heroes the reader can get behind and cheer, adventures that take Hunter and others through the mysterious world of Solandria, strange creatures that capture the imagination, nefarious villians whose seductive version of the truth causes even the most faithful to question their beliefs, and a twist ending that will come as a suprise to many. I can easily see the Miller Brothers writing a number of sequels down the road, all taking the story in very interesting directions. However, before they do, I believe it would be in their best interest if they took a closer look at several writing traps they have fallen into.
Probably the most egregious problem is see is that they constantly write in the passive voice. Beginning or inattentive writers tend to overuse passive voice, which can weaken their prose, lead to the omission of important information, and make them appear unsure of their ideas. In short, passive voice means the subject of the sentence is receiving the action rather than doing the action. To get technical, the direct object becomes the subject of the sentence.
For example: "The paper was written by Bob."
This sentence is passive because the paper isn't doing anything, even though it's the grammatical subject of the sentence. When this happens, it puts distance between the story and the reader. As a writer, you want to bring the reader right into the action, as though they are participants in what is happening. Unfortunately, the occurances of passive voice are so rampant in this book, it took me out of the story more times than I could count. Here are a couple of examples:
"I could feel my insecurities about being in open water rise the further I drifted from shore."
An easy fix would be, "I felt my insecurities..."
As another example, "I was struck by the irony of how comforting it was to know that everything below me was dead."
This sentence suffers from two problems: it is clunky, and it is written in the passive voice. As a suggestion, I have re-written is as, "The comforting irony of knowing that everything below was dead struck me in a powerful way."
Another problem I came across throughout the story was the frequent occurance of telling and not showing. This is when the writer tells the reader something rather than letting the characters show it in some way.
For example, "His eyes were as wide as a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar."
Don't tell me his eyes were big, show me. Unfortunately, telling rather than showing is the bane of most writers, myself included, and it is difficult to know if such an inclusion is appropriate, or when it is done a little too often. In my opinion, if the Miller Brothers want to make their stories really shine, they need to tone down this aspect of their writing.
As I said before, I enjoyed reading the story, and would recommend it to others if they asked. My concerns lay in the strength of the writing. If the Miller Brothers work to avoid the pitfalls I mentioned, then I believe they will become very fine authors indeed.
If you would like to purchase a copy of Hunter Brown and the Secret of the Shadow, just click the link http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1593173288 .
You can also check out the Miller Brothers’ Web and blog sites:
http://www.codebearers.com/
http://themillerbrothers.blogspot.com/
For those who would like to read what others thought of Hunter Brown, click any one of the reviewers below.
Brandon Barr
Keanan Brand
Melissa Carswell
Valerie Comer
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
Shane Deal
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Karina Fabian
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Michael Greene
Katie Hart
Ryan Heart
Timothy Hicks
Jason Isbell
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Magma
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Nissa
Wade Ogletree
John W. Otte
Steve Rice
Crista Richey
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Rachel Starr Thomson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Fred Warren
Phyllis Wheeler
Jill Williamson

